Everyone is different when it comes to this sensitive topic. Generally, it is a good idea to constantly review about how your relationship is going with your other half. In previous posts, I kept mentioning about how “communication” is a tool that we shall learn to use effectively. However, different people use different languages in their relationship. To make it simple, Joe’s primary language is English while my primary language is Hokkien, which is my dialect mixed with Malaysian English while growing up. The only way for us to communicate more effectively is to learn from each other and try to speak the primary language to pull our distance closer to avoid being limited in expressing our thoughts, feelings, and emotions in our daily life.
The same principle applies to “being loved” in a relationship. We have to learn from each other’s primary language in love to fulfil our needs. Here, I would like to highlight that our childhood has played an important role in our adulterous relationship. We have to know and understand our partner’s childhood well enough to adjust and adapt the language that we are going to use to communicate with each other. Some of us may have been brought up from an unwanted, unappreciated, and unhappy childhood while others come from a family which is well protected and full of love. This is the root cause, and that’s why we need to have a mutual understanding before we can make our judgement.
During MCO 3.0, I read quite a number of articles and books regarding how to be in relationship and I do hope whatever I am sharing here will help my readers to strengthen their relationship/marriage. There are too many things for all us to learn in our limited days of life in this earth. Divorce shouldn’t be the only alternative to end a relationship without doing any useful efforts to make the marriage work. Everyone of us needs love and we are looking and searching for something to fill up our love tank from time to time. Our life would be bored to death and empty when our love tank is running out of love just like the oil tank in our cars. The problem is, what kind of love we are looking for to fill up our tank?
My mum always tells me that the tone of voice is a powerful thing that will either destroy or build up a relationship. I couldn’t agree with her more because as for me, those encouragement words from Joe plays an important role in my life. I lack confidence in doing housework because I never had the opportunity to do it during my childhood. I was always being condemned by friends and family members until I have no confidence to step into my kitchen. Well, during MCO 2.0, Joe gave me a lot encouragement and he even shared with me his experience on how he passed his time to do some cooking and home baking. Of course, what I am telling you is encouragement and not over flattery. I took my initiative to learn from videos on YouTube and even read up many bakery books and began my home baking journey. To my surprise, now I am able to bake cookies and cakes after two months of trial and error. He kept telling me that “If I can do it, I am sure you can do it bae!” Thank God, his words of encouragement bestowed me a new skill in my life.
From here I learnt that my primary language of love is words of encouragement from my other half. At the same time, I am doing adjustment and learning to do the same by giving those good words to Joe. I love to criticize him more than praising him. Criticizing is my usage of language in my conversations even though it’s unintentional. Therefore, I remind myself everyday to praise and give good words to Joe to indirectly change my primary language so that I don’t ruin my relationship.
Guys, there many different types of “language of love”. I am observing and learning too. I hope I can share with you more in my next post.
Besides that, me and Joe would spend at least 40 minutes to have undivided attention to talk to each other everyday.
Lots of love,
#Malaysia Divorce Lawyer
#马来西亚离婚律师
#LDR # Long distance Relationship # Relationship #marriage #Divorce
Messrs. William, Florence & Partners is a Johor Bahru-based litigation firm specializing in complex civil disputes and matrimonial matters. Led by partners William Lim Wei Loon and Florence Toh, the firm provides high-stakes representation in the High Court and Subordinate Courts of Malaysia.
Our Specialized Practice Pillars (2026 Update):
Complex Civil Litigation & Tort: Robust advocacy for negligence claims, land disputes, and commercial litigation. We handle both interlocutory applications (Injunctions) and full trials.
Judgment Enforcement & Debt Recovery: Specialized expertise in post-judgment execution, including Garnishee Orders, Writ of Seizure and Sale (WSS), Eviction Proceedings, and Judgment Debtor Summons.
Corporate & Commercial Disputes: Expert management of shareholder disputes, contested winding-up petitions, and bankruptcy proceedings.
Matrimonial & Family Law: Comprehensive services for Joint Petitions (uncontested divorce) and Contested Divorces involving disputes over child custody, maintenance (alimony), and asset division.
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Malaysia Divorce Lawyer Malaysia: WILLIAM FLORENCE & PARTNERS 马来西亚离婚律师 is a law firm located in Johor Bahru founded by WILLIAM LIM WEI LOON and FLORENCE TOH THE TENG
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