How Can I Understand My Man Better?

As I have mentioned before in my previous blog, men will cave themselves to sort out their problems. This is the link: https://malaysiadivorcelawyer.blogspot.com/2021/05/how-to-stop-being-taken-for-granted-in.html

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This reaction is a natural response gifted by the God. Therefore, women shall learn to adapt and understand this type of behaviour .

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Ladies, I feel the pain when our man is silent. We always want our man to give us a reassurance when we talk to them even though his response is a “hmm” or “mmm”. A simple “hmm” or “mmm”, believe it or not, is a magical reply for ladies to feel secure and certain from their man. Although it sounds stupid and illogic, but this is who we are as women.

Ladies I cannot stress this enough, men do not want to be disturbed when they are bothered with problems. They need their personal space to digest and sort out their problems inside their cave. At this critical time, women tend to give their over concern towards their beloved man by asking them “How are you?” or “Is there anything you want to share with me right now?”. Although this type of response/behavior is not wrong, but please control yourself.

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Your reaction and your over concerned behaviour would irritate your man as he may think that you are questioning about his competency and capability to solve his own problems. Another way to look at this is that he does not want you to be part of his problem.

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Therefore ladies, kindly stand your ground and just let him be. Instead, use this precious time to do the things you want to do. Activities like shopping, hang out with your friends, read a book, watch a movie, or anything to assure him that you are happy and enjoying your time. Trust me ladies, when your man needs you, you will know right away.

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Let your man know that you are doing great, then once he has resolved his problems, he will come out from his cave to embrace you.

Many disputes and misunderstanding arise in a relationship merely due to lack of understanding between men and women.

I hope this post may give you a hand to understand more about your man. Good luck, ladies!

离婚律师 #新山律师 #johor firm lawyer # 马来西亚离婚律师 #抚养权#婚姻产业 

Lots of love,

#Malaysia Divorce Lawyer

#马来西亚离婚律师

#LDR # Long distance Relationship # Relationship #marriage #Divorce 

If you have legal inquiry, please look for Malaysia Divorce Lawyer

Malaysia Divorce Lawyer Malaysia: WILLIAM FLORENCE & PARTNERS 马来西亚离婚律师 is a law firm located in Johor Bahru founded by WILLIAM LIM WEI LOON and FLORENCE TOH THE TENG

Long Distance Relationship (LDR) – COVID Version

Many of my close friends, including my family members, feel surprised that me and Joe were able to get along so well with each other even though the chance of us meeting up physically is slim. I know we’ve made up our minds to be together, but it did not turn out the way we wanted to be. I always tell Joe that we should call ourselves the “COVID couple” as we had missed our opportunity to travel around Europe last year, and we are forced to be separated with each other for almost 500 days.

[picture copyright belong to JB Lawyer]

We met each other at The Venetian in Macau in 2019 for attending an international business convention. Many people used the word “wondrous “ to describe Macau, while to me it was a lovely place for me to meet up Joe.

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Basically, “opposite attraction” is the magical thing that made both of us to be well connected. Joe has his dual nationality in Taiwan and Canada. He spent most of life in Canada. As you know, it is never easy to communicate with a pure “Canuck”. He always makes fun of my accent and suits himself to understand my “Manglish” (Malaysia English). Both of us have different culture, upbringing, religion thoughts, environment, and accent of languages. Those differences is what brought us close. We really enjoy laughing, mocking, and teasing each other everyday.

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During this pandemic, we did several virtual tours through video calls to occupy each other’s time. While many of us has been served with the stay-at-home orders which have been well implemented a few times in both countries (MCO in Malaysia). In between, both of us set up our life, financial, and relationship goals and we hope we will fully utilise this period of  time to equip ourselves with  knowledge and skills in our life. Both of us are having the same thoughts that we shall be well prepared and get ready to be a better person for our next meet up.

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It is great that by sharing the same goals and dreams,  both of us become more optimistic to undergo this painstaking pandemic instead of grumbling and complaining that we couldn’t be physically present in each other’s life. We learn how to communicate effectively and continue to create memories in each other’s life during this lock down period.

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My heart leapt sky high while Joe purposely bought a birthday cake, sang a birthday song, held a party in Canada and even showed me my birthday presents through video call on my birthday. I was so touched when he told me that he wanted to do something to create some sweet memories for my birthday.

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Hey guys, it is never easy to maintain a LDR especially during this pandemic. Both of us treat this pandemic as a big challenge in our relationship. We learn to treasure more and stop being too demanding in a relationship. We strongly believe that this separation is temporary for getting us ready to embrace more challenges and unpredictable hardships in our future.

This is my 1st time sharing my current relationship life to my readers. I hope all of you will like it :).

离婚律师 #新山律师 #johor firm lawyer # 马来西亚离婚律师 #抚养权#婚姻产业 

Lots of love,

#Malaysia Divorce Lawyer

#马来西亚离婚律师

#LDR # Long distance Relationship # Relationship #marriage #Divorce 

If you have legal inquiry, please look for Malaysia Divorce Lawyer

Malaysia Divorce Lawyer Malaysia: WILLIAM FLORENCE & PARTNERS 马来西亚离婚律师 is a law firm located in Johor Bahru founded by WILLIAM LIM WEI LOON and FLORENCE TOH THE TENG

How do you fix broken communication in marriage ?

During this pandemic, I try to figure out whether there are any effective ways for me to communicate with my boyfriend who is currently residing in Canada. 

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Sometimes we would have a few disagreements and heated debates during our video calls as both of us were in a bad mood which was caused directly from this pandemic. However, from this LDR (“Long Distance Relationship“), I have learnt a lot on how to fix a broken communication after or during a big fight.There are 4 ways that I found out that are quite effective to my LDR. Therefore, I hope these tips that I am about to share will help with your marriage.

1.Usage of words in your communication

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I am the kind of person that needs my other half to spend more time and talk to me everyday. Sometimes, I would easily get angry or feel deserted while my boyfriend is being too busy to deal with his work and friends. 

I am able to trigger his emotion if I told him “Bae, I want you to talk to me!”. He would tell me, he has squeezed a lot of his precious time for me and this response always makes me feel angry.

However, he is willingly to talk to me and listen to my thoughts if i say “Bae, I need you and I hope you are beside me right now!”.

From here, I noticed that the usage of words and ways to express out on what a person’s need would make things change. You can make a big difference by using the words “Dear, I want you!”, which sounds more instructive than “Dear, I need you!”

2.Body language 

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If you're asking me, I'd say body language is extremely important to a female in a relationship. The best way to stop a heated debate or disagreement is by ways of touching, holding or giving a hug. It plays a crucial role when she is either feeling under the weather or having a mood swing.

I really hope my boyfriend would be my side, stop arguing with me on what is right and wrong by giving me a big hug to calm me down every time we have our big fight with each other.

From the girlfriend's perspective, when you “walk out the door”, you are hurting your woman even deeper because she may think that the you are deserting her.

3.Way of motivating your boyfriend/husband

A big taboo is when the wife tells the husband “ I hope you can spend less and use your money in a wise way.”

Women always hope they will do something to improve the lifestyle of the family in the future.Nevertheless, this is a wrong way for you to motivate your man as he may think he is capable and competent enough to have a greater future plan inside his mind. Your action would let him feel that you do not trust on his competency to provide you or your family a good life.

Ladies, please offer your advice in a good way when your man approaches you for his or the family’s future financial plan.

4.Be a good listener

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Believe it or not, I share every single gritty-nitty things with my boyfriend regardless they sound nasty irritating to him. To me, it's the best way to talk to my man.

I feel fed-up whenever he is trying to look for solutions for me such as “Darling, take it easy and don’t get angry.” It is weird to say that I feel much better when he tells me “Darling, I can feel you, I knew you have been through a lot.”

Men, I know you guys are good problem solvers but women just like to grumble and complain every single thing in her life. Those solutions that you offer would directly irritate her.

I hope these tips may help you a little here and there in your relationship. Good luck!

离婚律师 #新山律师 #johor firm lawyer # 马来西亚离婚律师 #抚养权#婚姻产业 

Lots of love,

#Malaysia Divorce Lawyer

#马来西亚离婚律师

#LDR # Long distance Relationship # Relationship #marriage #Divorce 

If you have legal inquiry, please look for Malaysia Divorce Lawyer

Malaysia Divorce Lawyer Malaysia: WILLIAM FLORENCE & PARTNERS 马来西亚离婚律师 is a law firm located in Johor Bahru founded by WILLIAM LIM WEI LOON and FLORENCE TOH THE TENG

How to stop being taken for granted in a relationship?

One of the causes of breakdowns in a marriage in Malaysia is when couples cannot tolerate each other. However, nobody takes this issue seriously.

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Men and women have lots of differences in ways of expressing emotions, thoughts, and feelings.These differences are the main causes to drift both parties apart.

The most rampant issue that arises among those old couples in my clientele  is the “Man Cave“ scenario.

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I always tell my friends and clients, the worst part in our education system is that we were never taught about “finance” and “relationship“ in a healthy way. In our society, we are too focused about “money“ without equipping the basic knowledge of finance and encouraging young couples to marry without letting them to understand how to maintain a life long relationship.

                                              [picture copyright belongs to Malaysia Divorce Lawyer]

Guys like to cave themselves to figure out their problems. Some men need days or maybe even months to come out from the cave. Many men ⁰would choose to walk away, leave the house, spend few days to have his alone time or stop talking to his spouse for days after a heated argument.

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The wife is being left outside the cave for days or months.

Generally, there are a few scenarios that leads a man to hide themselves in a cave. A man may have such reaction when:

(A) He is tired of talking to you

(B) Certain issues have been brought up repetitively

(C) He is facing some problems in his life

However, men do not know that the woman who remains outside the cave feels insecure, helpless, and angry. In her mind, she will treat this natural reaction from the husband as a

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which may be a taboo in a relationship. She doesn’t know what is the guy doing or thinking at that period of time.

It is a natural action for guys to cave themselves, however, nobody shall take for granted of this privilege in a relationship. 

Kindly imagine if your wife keeps hiding herself in a room without talking with you for days and you do not know the ways to lure her out from her room after an argument or disagreement. You may feel insecure, frustrated or hurt too.

                                              [picture copyright belongs to Malaysia Divorce Lawyer]

We are human beings and we shall try to set up a rule like...

                                           “No Man Cave rule  in a relationship ”

                                              [picture copyright belongs to Malaysia Divorce Lawyer]

before you enter or you have just started a relationship.

If either party couldn’t tolerate with such reaction in a marriage, let both parties cool down and then sit down to talk.

It is a grave punishment when either party couldn’t tolerate such Man Cave rule in a relationship and most importantly it shouldn’t be a culture to be freely cultivated in a marriage.

Both parties can set a time to cool down and sort out the problems in their relationship should the issues that they are facing might be able to ruin the trust in the relationship seriously.

Last but not least, communication is the tool to stop anyone being taken for granted in a relationship. Talk it out, say something, do not be the silent killer.

离婚律师 #新山律师 #johor firm lawyer # 马来西亚离婚律师 #抚养权#婚姻产业 

Lots of love,

Florence

#Malaysia Divorce Lawyer

#马来西亚离婚律师

#Marriage #Divorce #Relationship #Long Distance relationship #LDR

If you have legal inquiry, please look for Malaysia Divorce Lawyer

Malaysia Divorce Lawyer Malaysia: WILLIAM FLORENCE & PARTNERS 马来西亚离婚律师 is a law firm located in Johor Bahru founded by WILLIAM LIM WEI LOON and FLORENCE TOH THE TENG