One of the causes of breakdowns in a marriage in Malaysia is when couples cannot tolerate each other. However, nobody takes this issue seriously.
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Men and women have lots of differences in ways of expressing emotions, thoughts, and feelings.These differences are the main causes to drift both parties apart.
The most rampant issue that arises among those old couples in my clientele is the “Man Cave“ scenario.
I always tell my friends and clients, the worst part in our education system is that we were never taught about “finance” and “relationship“ in a healthy way. In our society, we are too focused about “money“ without equipping the basic knowledge of finance and encouraging young couples to marry without letting them to understand how to maintain a life long relationship.
Guys like to cave themselves to figure out their problems. Some men need days or maybe even months to come out from the cave. Many men ⁰would choose to walk away, leave the house, spend few days to have his alone time or stop talking to his spouse for days after a heated argument.
Generally, there are a few scenarios that leads a man to hide themselves in a cave. A man may have such reaction when:
(A) He is tired of talking to you
(B) Certain issues have been brought up repetitively
(C) He is facing some problems in his life
However, men do not know that the woman who remains outside the cave feels insecure, helpless, and angry. In her mind, she will treat this natural reaction from the husband as a
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which may be a taboo in a relationship. She doesn’t know what is the guy doing or thinking at that period of time.
It is a natural action for guys to cave themselves, however, nobody shall take for granted of this privilege in a relationship.
Kindly imagine if your wife keeps hiding herself in a room without talking with you for days and you do not know the ways to lure her out from her room after an argument or disagreement. You may feel insecure, frustrated or hurt too.
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We are human beings and we shall try to set up a rule like...
“No Man Cave rule in a relationship ”
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before you enter or you have just started a relationship.
If either party couldn’t tolerate with such reaction in a marriage, let both parties cool down and then sit down to talk.
It is a grave punishment when either party couldn’t tolerate such Man Cave rule in a relationship and most importantly it shouldn’t be a culture to be freely cultivated in a marriage.
Both parties can set a time to cool down and sort out the problems in their relationship should the issues that they are facing might be able to ruin the trust in the relationship seriously.
Last but not least, communication is the tool to stop anyone being taken for granted in a relationship. Talk it out, say something, do not be the silent killer.
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Lots of love,
Florence
#Malaysia Divorce Lawyer
#马来西亚离婚律师
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Malaysia Divorce Lawyer Malaysia: WILLIAM FLORENCE & PARTNERS 马来西亚离婚律师 is a law firm located in Johor Bahru founded by WILLIAM LIM WEI LOON and FLORENCE TOH THE TENG
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